Everyone you know including yourself is looking to be successful. It is a hot topic that can even be controversial - in some families or places of business it is even taboo and not to be spoken of. But I believe deep down inside everyone wants to be successful, the problem is, when were you given a road map, instructions or perhaps a formula of how to be successful? It is not taught in schools, your parents may or may not be able to articulate what success is because they may be caught in the rat race and the constant struggle of “getting by” or maybe they are not your definition of success.
We can certainly agree that there are many different definitions for success and that the word success means different things to different people. I have been fortunate to have been around some really successful people in my life and have taken the time to study and learn from some people that are truly living a successful life. One thing we can all agree on is that success is a feeling, it is an emotional state where you feel like you are living a good life and that you are leading a purposeful life. Through accomplishments and victories whether big or small you are able to look back and realize that you have made measurable progress over a period of time.
Aside from having different definitions there are different areas of focus, for example, if your focus is career and you want to be a success in that area you may devote much more time and energy to your career or business but if you lose yourself in that you may in turn sacrifice your health, your family and other relationships along the way. Another example is when people are insecure and want to copy what everyone else around them is doing including getting frustrated when they scroll through their instagram page because of how “others are living”. They go out and over spend, get into huge amounts of debt and are unable to recuperate and get back on their feet.
So what is the solution? is there one? I have come up with a Cycle of Success which I have been using for over ten years and has helped me live a successful life which, to me, means that all my areas of focus are somewhat balanced and that I live a happy and fulfilled life. Many people feel like once they are “successful” they will magically feel happiness and fulfillment but I have identified that it is exactly the other way around. First you need to find happiness and fulfillment and within that you’ll truly feel successful.
In the Cycle of Success you are able to apply the steps to whichever area you need to strengthen.
Goals: Most people don’t experience success for the simple reason that they do not know what it looks like if they reach it. It is critical that you are able to take the time to sit and set goals for yourself, goals that actually push you closer to the life you are designing for yourself. Here are the top 5 key tips when setting your goals.
Make sure your goal is written down
Make the goal as precise as possible, ie: don’t write I want to make more money, instead say I want to earn an addition $60,000 per year or $5,000 per month
Ensure that there is a a deadline or due date for your goal - what do you want and when do you want it by.
Most important is to write down WHY you want this goal, what are you going to gain from achieving this goal? ie: If I earn an additional $60,000 I will be able to payoff my debt and have that weight off of my shoulders.
Finally I would recommend that this goal or goals are visible daily, put it somewhere that you can see it and have it as a constant reminder.
Contribution: Once you start setting goals and are moving toward them I have found that in this stage it is crucial to contribute, remember you are looking for success, but how successful will you feel if you got there on your own and didn’t help anyone along the way. Please do not confuse this with allowing people to drag you down, you will have your fair share of people trying to kill your dreams and convince you that your goals are unattainable. I am talking about giving back, as you get better it is your moral obligation to give back to society. I learned that in order to get everything you want in life you need to first help other people get what they want. There is an African proverb that says “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” find like minded people that are aligned in the goals and vision of what life looks like and work together. This will provide a deep feeling of contribution and purpose in your life, most importantly, someone else’s life will be better because you existed.
Growth: The third ingredient is one that makes you feel alive, the one that gives you a great feeling when you look back and see how far you’ve come. If you’re not growing you’re dead, this is the mindset that everyone should have, you should always focus on how to get better and which area of your life requires more attention for growth. If you have done the first two steps and have your goals and contribution in line the next step is to force growth. Here are some tips on what you can do to experience growth.
Read: Read books, magazines, articles, posts, blogs whatever it is that you can get your hands on it is important that you read. The key is to focus your reading around the area of focus or the area of your life that perhaps you may have neglected. If you want to become a better leader, find all the best books on leadership. If you are struggling in your relationships or having difficulties with your family - look up books on that particular topic and learn solutions that other people have come up with that you may not have thought of.
Seminars: One of the best ways to make a course correction in your life’s trajectory is to immerse yourself in a 2 or 3 day seminar that targets the area of your life that you are looking to grow in. There are many successful speakers, leaders, businesspeople, coaches that put these events on and they can give you that jolt you need to get you started in the direction you want to go. One of the most impactful seminars I went to was my first UPW (unleash the power within) event with Tony Robbins. My life changed forever from that one event.
Workshops / Mastermind: These workshops or masterminds are different from seminars in the sense that they are more intimate and limited to fewer people and you tend to really focus in on a particular topic, skill or goal. These are fantastic since you are able to interact with and engage with people who are in similar positions to you and often times you end up discovering the solutions together.
Mentorship: One of the best ways for you to achieve something you are desiring is to learn from someone who is already there. When you sit and set your goals and design the life you would like to live the best thing you can do is find someone who is already living that life. It is incredible how much easier it becomes to achieve your goals because you have the proof that it is possible because someone is already living it. Now all you have to do is model after that person, model, not copy. If you do have access to this person and are able to have conversations it becomes easier to ask questions regarding how they achieved what they achieved. What you will learn is that it really isn’t that difficult, it may require discipline and some sacrifices but it is possible. You will follow the three steps to achieve your intended result:
Observation: Observe what the person does on a day to day basis, how they live their lives, choices they make, the way they speak, the people they spend time with.
Imitation: Look to imitate in your own way the things you have observed to be the ingredients to what makes that person a “success”
Repetition: Do it over and over until you begin to experience a similar result to the person you are looking to.
Coach: Some people have not learned the disciplines required to see a project through to the end or to stay on target consistently until a goal is achieved. You can always find a coach to keep you on track, whether it is a call in the morning to ensure you set up your day or a gym accountability partner that will not let you off the hook. Either way a coach is a great way to have someone give you the extra push needed to get the job done. Caution- be careful in choosing a coach, ensure that this person is someone that is actually living a life that you look up to and has the disciplines that you may be lacking.
Celebration: This is the fourth and final step in the Cycle of Success this is the part, unfortunately, that people want to skip to. Everyone wants to celebrate, everyone wants to party and have a good time but when you ask them why they are celebrating there is no real reason behind it. They are celebrating to celebrate. I would encourage you to reserve this for moments when you hit a major target or accomplish a goal that you have been working on for some time. When you do hit a major target a celebration is incredibly important, reward yourself, it gives you a feeling of “I did it” or “I earned this” and there is no better feeling to get you started right back at step 1 of the cycle and set another goal because you want to have another celebration. Celebrations can come in the form of a big trip to a certain destination that has been on your list for a long time, or it can come in the form of a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant, it is up to you but a celebration is key - do not skip this step.
It is my belief and my experience that once you start living your life with these four steps in the Cycle of Success you will naturally begin feeling a sense of happiness and fulfillment because you have purpose and most importantly you are in control of it. Imagine a life where you are constantly and consistently setting and achieving goals and targets as well as contributing to society by helping those around you as you are always seeking out new information from books, seminars and mentors. This is, in my opinion, a successful life. This is a life you can be proud of and when you look back feel great about what you were able to accomplish with your limited time on this planet.